Better Out Than In

Happy Mantra Monday!

My Aunt Tootsie (aka Sister Miriam Wesselmann, SSND) was the first person to introduce me to the mantra ‘Better Out Than In’. During the height of the COVID pandemic I lost, in rather quick succession, our heart dog sweet Lucy (who had been in the family since before we got married), my mom Tootie, and my Aunt Flossy.

Not long after these series of very sad events, Tootsie and I were having one of our regular check-in phone calls and I couldn’t keep it together. I kept crying, sobbing really, regaining my composure so we could continue talking, and then breaking down again in tears. Tootsie was calm, empathetic, and kept repeating, “It’s okay Su, what you are feeling is rationale. Better out than in, let it all go.” It hit perfectly and created a safe, brave space for the emotional release that I desperately needed.

‘Better out than in’ applies to a wide variety of things including tears, emotions, and yes, even burps and flatulence. We often strategically and wisely hold things in at times. For example avoiding burping when we are in the presence of others as well as filtering thoughts before speaking as a way of practicing the power of the pause.

There are times when holding it in is wise and appropriate, and other times when we are better off sharing what we are thinking and feeling. What is most important is that we are intentional with when we speak, share, or release versus when we hold it in. Intention matters, impact matters more.

Another related mantra that I love:

Breathe in the Happy.

Breathe out the Crappy.

Take from this what you wish, leave the rest. And keep going.

RESOURCES

Meditation and Chanting: Timeless technology of ancient seers

Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction

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